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The Healing Power of Humor
Welcome to our joyful corner of the internet, where laughter is the best medicine! Here, we believe that humor isn’t just for tickling your funny bone—it’s a powerful tool for healing and nourishing the soul. Life is hard enough at times—laughing makes it a little easier and more enjoyable. So come on in, let your worries drift away, and explore the delightful world of laughter with us. Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a series of giggles, we’ve got just the remedy to brighten your day and uplift your spirit. Stay awhile, and let’s share some smiles!
In Our Home, We Love Dad Jokes!
My wife likes to study plants, but she has never botany.
Where is a fruit's favorite place to go on vacation?
Pear-is!
Do you know why ants never get sick?
It's because of all their anti-bodies.
I had a date last night. It was perfect. Tomorrow I'll try a grape.
I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap.
How does a procrastinator say goodbye?
"Later."
What be Ammon's favorite military branch? De Army.
What's a pastry maker's favorite workout?
One that works the ab-dough-men.
What is a banana's least favorite weekday?
Sundae. It makes them want to split!
Where do young spiders start their education?
At the Newlyweb school.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here! I'm going on ahead!
Send Us Your Favorite Dad Joke
Couldn't Get Enough of the Jokes Above? Neither Could We!
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
Do you know where you can buy chicken broth in bulk?
The stock market.
What did one tornado say to the other tornado when they saw a house?
Let's raise the roof!
Why do peppers make such good archers?
Because they Habenero.
Growing up as a seagull, I tried to learn how to play the carp. It was always out of tuna. At concerts, I would usually flounder. When people made fun of me, I would say oh whale. My mom told me to keep shining because you're a starfish.
I don't get along with car keys.
They're always starting something.
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
My therapist told me I have problems with verbalizing my emotions.
Can't say I'm surprised.
Most people have common cents. I have overdue bills.
What type of book only has characters and no story?
A telephone book.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball.
What do a bunch of skeletons have in common?
Nobody nose.
I made a joke about the way a sailor tied the ropes on his ship. He told me it was knot funny.
What is a clock's favorite time?
It's gotta be 6:30, hand's down.
A farmer saw a bull and a cow standing by a broken fence. The farmer asked if the bull had caused the damage. He replied, "No, it was the udder one."
How did the farmer feel when her cows stopped producing milk? She was udderly devastated.
I harvested more apples than I was supposed to. I was accused of being too picky.
Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill?
He ran out of juice.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Did you hear about the cheese that's been working out?
Dude's shredded.
What are a ninja's favorite kind of shoe?
Sneakers.
In 2020 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2021, 2022, 2023 or 2024.
This is a running joke.
What did the wheat field say to the cut alfalfa field?
Hay bale!
Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?
It suffered from withdrawals.
What makes a dad joke?
Pretty much anything you say to him.
Did you like this beef? Holy cow it was good.
How do you get a country girl's attention.
A tractor.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the vegetable garden start a band?
Because it had a lot of beets!
I tried using an ATM for the first time today.
It didn't make cents.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Parents: Son, did you bring a pet bird in the house?
Son: No. Why?
Parents: We detected a fowl smell coming from your room.
Swords will never go obsolete.
They're cutting edge technology.
What do you call a male person who writes plays?
Manuscript.
Someone told me that I should write a book. I said, "That's a novel concept."
How does a man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
If someone asks you to tell them a joke, tell them I have a vegetable joke. But it's corny.
What does the person say as he's loading the car?
Does this cargo?
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crumby.
I took my family camping for the first tie last weekend. It was intents.
We were following a U-Haul truck and saw a 'cows on road' sign. Sure enough, we saw cows. What did the cow say about the vehicle in front of us?
It's a moo-ving truck.
What's red and comes from the ground?
Beets me.
When are the worst times to attack a castle?
During knight time.
My friend calls me Mr. Potter because my legs are Harry.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?
Because they might crack up!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
What's the least exciting part of a wild pig wedding?
The exchange of boar rings.
I watched a goose, a frog and a fish moving around in a pond. They got along swimingly.
What's another way to describe a night of off-key karaoke?
Embarrass-sing.
I went to buy some fish at the store and asked how much space they need. The owner told me none. They live in water.
When I asked my wife if we had enough money in the budget to rent a machine to work on the yard, she said "We have enough money for two workers. You and Manuel." "Who's Manuel?" I asked. She replied, "Manuel Labor."
Adam: "Eve, I think it would be safer for me to be afisherman than to plant crops."
Eve: "Why do you think that?"
Adam: "Last time I was in a garden, I fell."
A family of four were getting ready to eat hamburgers. Dad said everyone can have two hamburgers. The kids wondered why so much. Dad said it was because if anyone asked them what they had for lunch, we could tell them we eight hamburgers.
What small flying insect do you find near an inlet of the sea?
A baby bee.
Who was the guy named after a wobbly javelin?
Shakespeare.
What is a sidewalk artist's favorite treat?
Chalk-a-lot.
What do you call a woman's spy listening device?Ladybug.
What's the opposite of standing tall?Falling short.
Have you ever been in a sewing store? It's nothing like it seams.
The Easter Bunny likes hearing about the life of Jeus.
It's his favorite tail.
What is a horse's favorite part of the house?
The mane floor.
Called me sliced butter because I'm on a roll!
What's the Dragon Warrior's favorite Kung Fu move?
The Po Knee.
You don't say later to the alligator. The alligator is hungry now.
What's the difference between fowl in the air and fowl on the ground? The fowl in the air are suffering from bird flew.
What do you call countries that bake bread?
Dough nations.
What ocean vessel can you get the best deals?
A sale boat.
How does a dentist get to appointments on islands?
He takes a tooth ferry.
How do you tell how good the phone reception is in a garden?
Look at how many salad bars there are.
What's it called when you try to teach a whale to stop swimming in circles?
Orca-straighting.
What do you call a fish that's unsure of themselves?
A doubt trout.
What's a bar of soap's favorite type of music?
Bubble rap.
I drew 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 from the deck of cards.
Well, that's odd.
What's another name for a broom that I own?
Minesweeper.
When I was a young prince, I owned horses. Now that I am King, I have knight-mares.
What's another story about a race horse?
A pony tale.
Why did the pillow go to school?
It wanted to get ahead in bed-time stories.
Why are Dad polar bears so grumpy?
Someone forgot to turn off the Northern lights.
What did the gray cloud say to the sun?
When you're finished shining, I will shower.
Where do bad rainbows go?
To prism. It's a light sentence, but gives them time to reflect.
Why was a famous singer forced to fire their turkey bodyguards?
Because they tryptophan.
We're waiting to cook the turkey. Someone said the turkey might run away by then.
We do love fast food.
What do you get when you mix a pig, a cold breeze, and an angry dog?
Ham-burr-gurr.
I noticed the store had pickles on sale, so I bought some.
It was a good dill.
This year, I was looking forward to snow, man. Santa had other plans. He used his rain deer.
What state has the most cheerful people?
Merryland.
Which states are the best at coming up with Christmas songs?
The Carol-inas.
Where can you see single women enjoying a hot beverage?
Miss-is-sippi.
In which state do you greet people you thought were someone else?
O-hi!..o
Which state joins and separates at the same time?
Connect-i-cut.
Which sates is known for plentiful sneezing fits?
Mass-achoo-setts.
Which two states do you need an extra layer in the winter?
North and South Da-coat-a.
What state is named after a small beverage?
Mini soda.
What do you call someone who hates milk cows?
Lactose intolerant.
What type of digital transactions do horses enjoy?
Apple pay.
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.
What do dust bunnies fear the most?
The Grimm sweeper.
What's the quickest day of the month?
Fast Sunday.
What did the icy road say to the car?
Wanna go for a spin?
What's a snowman's favorite game?
Freeze tag.
What did the horse say to the pig that moved into the stall next door?
Won't you be my neigh-boar?
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where's POPcorn?
My mom told us we didn't have enough money to go to a comedy club. Dad said, "that's ok. Jokes are on me."
Why did the criminal not like the jury?
Because they were giving him a hard time.
A woman who has lived on the beach her whole life asked her friend, "I wonder what the weather is like at the top of the mountain?"
Her friend anwered, "I don't know for sure, but I bet it's a steep clime."
Mario got a parking ticket when he borrowed Luigi's cart. When Princess Toadstool asked Luigi what he thought about it, he said, "It's a fine."
A community voted against a new dog pound. They took a strong stance against fuff housing.
What did the square say to the circle?
See you around.
How do you tell someone goodbye in the beehive state?
Say U-tah-tah!
What's an anxiously engaged couple's least favorite fruit?
Cant-elope.
What did the homeowner say when his wife's home remodeling project was finished?
I love and a-door you!
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