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Welcome to our joyful corner of the internet, where laughter is the best medicine! Here, we believe that humor isn’t just for tickling your funny bone—it’s a powerful tool for healing and nourishing the soul. Life is hard enough at times—laughing makes it a little easier and more enjoyable. So come on in, let your worries drift away, and explore the delightful world of laughter with us. Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a series of giggles, we’ve got just the remedy to brighten your day and uplift your spirit. Stay awhile, and let’s share some smiles!
My wife likes to study plants, but she has never botany.
Where is a fruit's favorite place to go on vacation?
Pear-is!
Do you know why ants never get sick?
It's because of all their anti-bodies.
I had a date last night. It was perfect. Tomorrow I'll try a grape.
I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap.
How does a procrastinator say goodbye?
"Later."
What be Ammon's favorite military branch? De Army.
What's a pastry maker's favorite workout?
One that works the ab-dough-men.
What is a banana's least favorite weekday?
Sundae. It makes them want to split!
Where do young spiders start their education?
At the Newlyweb school.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here! I'm going on ahead!
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
Do you know where you can buy chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
What did one tornado say to the other tornado when they saw a house? Let's raise the roof!
Why do peppers make such good archers?
Because they Habenero.
Growing up as a seagull, I tried to learn how to play the carp. It was always out of tuna. At concerts, I would usually flounder. When people made fun of me, I would say oh whale. My mom told me to keep shining because you're a starfish.
I don't get along with car keys.
They're always starting something.
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
My therapist told me I have problems with verbalizing my emotions.
Can't say I'm surprised.
Most people have common cents. I have overdue bills.
What type of book only has characters and no story?
A telephone book.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball.
What do a bunch of skeletons have in common?
Nobody nose.
I made a joke about the way a sailor tied the ropes on his ship. He told me it was knot funny.
What is a clock's favorite time?
It's gotta be 6:30, hand's down.
A farmer saw a bull and a cow standing by a broken fence. The farmer asked if the bull had caused the damage. He replied, "No, it was the udder one."
Hod did the farmer feel when her cows stopped producing milk? She was udderly devastated.
I harvested more apples than I was supposed to. I was accused of being too picky.
Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill?
He ran out of juice.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Did you hear about the cheese that's been working out?
Dude's shredded.
What are a ninja's favorite kind of shoe?
Sneakers.
In 2020 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2021, 2022, 2023 or 2024.
This is a running joke.
What did the wheat field say to the cut alfalfa field?
Hay bale!
Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?
It suffered from withdrawals.
What makes a dad joke?
Pretty much anything you say to him.
Did you like this beef? Holy cow it was good.
How do you get a country girl's attention.
A tractor.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the vegetable garden start a band?
Because it had a lot of beets!
I tried using an ATM for the first time today.
It didn't make cents.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Parents: Son, did you bring a pet bird in the house?
Son: No. Why?
Parents: We detected a fowl smell coming from your room.
Swords will never go obsolete.
They're cutting edge technology.
What do you call a male person who writes plays?
Manuscript.
Someone told me that I should write a book. I said, "That's a novel concept."
How does a man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
If someone asks you to tell them a joke, tell them I have a vegetable joke. But it's corny.
What does the person say as he's loading the car?
Does this cargo?
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crumby.
I took my family camping for the first tie last weekend. It was intents.
We were following a U-Haul truck and saw a 'cows on road' sign. Sure enough, we saw cows. What did the cow say about the vehicle in front of us?
It's a moo-ving truck.
What's red and comes from the ground?
Beets me.
When are the worst times to attack a castle?
During knight time.
My friend calls me Mr. Potter because my legs are Harry.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?
Because they might crack up!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
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